If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Earl Wilson

"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due."
Unknown

"New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs."
Jimmy Fallon

"I mean, I think, Iraqis, I think, feel that if we drove smaller cars, maybe we wouldn't have to kill them for their oil."
Bill Maher

"Cars will not have intercourse on this bridge."
Traffic sign in Tokyo, Japan

"When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools."
Russell Baker

"It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them."
Washington Irving

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies." So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars."
Steven Wright

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
Doug Larson

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear."
Unknown

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
Erma Bombeck

"Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. This is like driving a car by looking in the rearview mirror."
Unknown

"Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car."
Dr. Laurence J. Peter